Saturday, June 13, 2009 running away.

I did something today I have never done before. I ran away.

Well, sure. There was that time when I was 9 or so. Does it really count though? I only made it to the end of the driveway before my mom asked where I was going to eat dinner if I kept walking. Say no more, mother of mine! I was just coming back inside! Hmmm... food always has been a motivator for me.

This time I did it, though. I really did it. I packed up my Explorer (for the first time EVER, she's aptly named), hit the highway and headed south. Just me, 8 billionty craft supplies, and open road. There were lightning storms, heavy rains, and even an accident that had all traffic shut down on 95. I kept right on going--chug, chug, chugging along. Why? Because I know how to find food all on my own now.

I don't know if it truly counts as "running away" if your family knows where you are and how to get a hold of you, but here I am regardless. I kept hearing that somewhat trite definition of "crazy" and felt more and more like it applied to me. You know the one I'm talking about... "Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." You have to say it in a sing-songy voice and bounce your head from side to side for the FULL effect, but I think you get the picture here.

When everything in your life feels like it's upside down and balanced precariously on uneven pogo sticks, it is probably time to take some kind of action. Right? Here I am. I'm at an undisclosed beachfront location in south Florida, with my laptop, some chick flick DVDs, my sewing machine and what seems to be a good portion of my art studio. I brought several books along for the journey... self improvement, Buddhism, artsy craftsy, craftsy artsy, and one or two novels just for kicks. It is going to be a week of journaling, discovery, recovery and crafting. I plan to lay on the beach when I want, go shopping when I want, eat when I want, sew when I want and watch what I want. I'm being ridiculously selfish and taking some time for me. In the long run, I'll be a better person for it, and a better person for those who depend on me.

Lest you think I'm footloose and fancy free, without a care in the world... there are no dogs snuggled next to me or in my lap; there is no son to tuck in, watch TV or laugh with; there is no husband to crawl into bed next to; and there will be no kitty curled up between my feet tonight as I sleep. I'm also on a self-imposed Facebook hiatus, which is harder than it might sound! There is, however, a toilet that flushes all by itself... every two minutes forty-five seconds. Yeah. So there's that.

It's after 2am here now, and while it is a much earlier bedtime for me than normal, I think I'm going to call it a night. This has been a LLLLLOOOONNNNGGGG day! Sunrise tomorrow is at 6:27am, so I am setting the alarm clock for 6:15am now. It's been quite a while since I've watched day break over the ocean's horizon. Of course, once the majesty has been witnessed, I'll be right back in bed until it's a reasonable hour for waking. I ran away... I'm not CRAZY!

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